After being sorta dazed those first few days, what really clicked me into happy was going to the outdoor toilet and smelling (I know that doesn't sound like a promising lead-in) the strong-tea scent of - something growing by the outhouse, it could be the Ti plants, it could be the Vivee, something with a pungent but light cedary smell. In a flash that smell encompasses why I like it here - the whole feeling of being up at the farm, the puttery days with always the greater projects and visions of the place in mind, interspersed with treats of wonderful smells, unusual and amazing fruits, something remarkable growing here that just came into season. Quick diversion to discuss the liloquoi -
At cousin Erica's on Oahu, we picked a purple liloquoi (passion flower) from her yard and I loved it. The grapefruity taste, but more lemony and sweeter with little seeds bursting with lemon explosions, as Dan says. Then here at the Farm, I saw round yellow fruits along the drive, and opened one up - it was a liloquoi, even better than the purple one. So now I mix several into the morning smoothie, along with the new young ginger from the market that is so spicy, turmeric we dug up to transplant, apple bananas from the property too, avocado, chia seeds, half a beet, some kale from the garden, some pomegranate juice. Also lemons are hanging off the trees here prolifically.
I know, i know, pictures would be better.
Back to, other big parts of being here: the closeness of the community - all needing and appreciating each other or at least knowing we need to work it out because it makes a huge difference. The bird calls, waterfall sound that I keep mistaking for wind or rain. Bright blue sky, huge dome of ocean, puffy clouds, skies full of stars, or darkened with rain drifting through. Holy cow, this is my home! This is my place now, partner to Dan in crafting all our ideas and creative desires.
So how does it feel to have left - mainly, left the girls? Not great. Jason being here helps a lot. His ironic greeting, as it poured in Hilo for the first time in months the day I arrived, "It's great to have you here mom. We really needed the rain!" I feel disbelief, really, that I could leave the girls, although after several days and lots of contact (phone works well! and computer chatting), I am confident they are doing well and are really helping each other out. Ariel went to Sophie's "parent day," attended classes, and told me how fun they were. Sophie drove down to hang out with Ariel on her first lonely weekend. Ariel says my departure has made her really look at her life and realize it's up to her to be who she wants, make it what she wants, I'm not there to notice what she does with her time - she is totally her own responsibility. So this has been good for her, actually, looking very good.
I think I'll take some pictures...
