Can I Get Excited Now?

(really today is Wednesday September 29)
It has been a stop-start month. Start to gear up for the big transition, then Maddy gets sick; then Ariel has to get a new house; meanwhile Sophie is dealing with strange and serious new allergies; then car gets smashed; then the latest thing was I see my wonderful doctor, who is very thorough, while I still have good medical insurance for a few more days and she is "very concerned" about the irregularity in lumpiness between my two breasts; and gets me in pronto for mammogram/sonogram (oh goody, more radiation before I fly and get radiated, after the 10 x-rays to determine my intestines were "tortuous and redundant"); but not to worry - this morning I had the exams and all is normal and healthy, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, proceed with plans!

So finally I think I am cleared for take-off. I did cry BRIEFLY when Vivian told me "if she was me" she would get it checked out because I just couldn't stand the idea of one more message from the universe saying hold on, wait a sec there honey, what makes you think you can just up and fly off to follow your whim, you got serious shit here this is a serious life full of problems and obligations and connections.

Spent today helping Ariel move. Since she is moving to accommodate Maddy, I paid for U-Haul, and pet deposit, and lunch for helpers. Very nicely she had 3 helpers earlier today and more on their way tonight, so I am back home, just have to move my stuff upstairs now so we can rent out our room (by Friday).

On review of the last 6 years, note this will be my 7th move: in 2003 I think it was, moved to Thomas St, then after the summer back to Westwood, then in the spring to Langridge for that sweet summer, then to 17th St for the year (with Sophie), then bought the house at 3211 and lived there for 2 years (with Sophie, Ariel, Kyle), then moved in here with Dan last year, now off to Big Isle. Sophie has moved even more, considering she did all those moves plus 2 dorms and 2 apartments.

Shed much baggage in all these years and moves. Although I like to pore through it each time I move, there is less and less - of course I keep the photos, and journals, and certain kid documents, that get randomly picked up and reveal bits of the past. Too busy now to even really think about what I'm doing, just got a lot to do!

Last week of work

The evening before the last week of work, for possibly ever, certainly at the county. Four more days of employment. Then a couple weeks of packing, helping Ariel move into a perfect little house hopefully so she can have Maddy, then moving myself off to Big I. No, it has not sunk in and no, I don't really believe it. Partly because I already have had two jolts of feeling I am too needed here. First with Maddy, who nearly died a few weeks ago of meningoencephalitis. We went all out with emergency vet treatment and she had an amazing recovery from coma-like (couldn't see, couldn't swallow, couldn't move head or get up) to pretty normal. You'd have to know her pretty well to know she's not completely normal. But like, she can't jump, or just a little bit, whereas she used to be very very upwardly jumpy. So this was a very pulling together of me, Ariel and Sophie (Emily), feeling very much as the Maddy team and making me feel very awkward and negligent to be leaving.



Maddy not feeling so well; we visited her at dog hospital (ariel could you send me a better picture?)



The next thing was just a few days ago, Sophie has been getting bad allergic reactions at school, probably to corn. She called me with hands swelling, tongue swollen and bumpy, difficulty breathing - and she is too pressured to go to her lab class rather than go get help! !!!! At least i convinced her to call the health center (closed) and stop at the student store and get benadryl (which had cornstarch). And to let her teacher and others know what she was going through, in case she passed out. I was just about to drive up to Tacoma, I found out where her lab was, and hand deliver corn-free benadryl when she said not to, that she had already taken the other benadryl and told her teacher etc. Finally she did go to the health center and get some other medication and the advice to get to an allergist ASAP.

So again, I feel totally irresponsible to be leaving the continent when these urgent family matters are benefited by my presence. ON the other hand, Ariel and Sophie are super competent and have most things under control... and have each other... friends and employers (well just Ariel) who are there for emergencies. I will still be able to give lots of advice over the phone/text/videochat/email. But it is painful and not a good choice to have to make, this future opening wide with love in Hawaii potential vs. the love and care of the daughters that are here. (Jason is there, however, and he could use love and care, even though he may not think he needs it :)

Think now is a good time to go for a run.