May Becomes June Ah Now July!

I guess it means I am getting pretty comfortable here, that the days slide into one another and I barely notice another month has gone by. There are really no seasons that I can discern, so far, and this is somewhat disorienting as to noting the passage of time. This is supposedly summer and it is exactly like winter... okay maybe the nights are a little warmer. We haven't thrown off the covers in a swelter of heat though, it still can be just a bit nippy (nippy is not even the right word ... you can want a long-sleeved shirt, is all) of an evening. The major difference is it is light much earlier, and stays light later. Also the sun has arced around to a whole new side of the house that I never would have expected. It is just as rainy, which has interfered with house building, but then does give me time finally to send this update off!

Major developments are - house footings and walls are poured, and waterproofed! The cement pours were a ton of work - many tons - I think we had overall 8 truckloads? The framing will have to wait until we get back from our Olympia/Woods Hole visit. Currently Dan is sorting gravel to get ready to backfill the walls.

The framework for pouring the footing.

David, Nick and Dan pouring a wall.


We also now have a cesspool for the new house, and much of the other infrastructure (drainage, roadways) all improving, and - big news - the perimeter fence is almost up, as well. The purpose is to keep pigs and other wandering creatures out of our gardens, so we can freely plant taro and trees without discovering one morning that they have been thoroughly mucked up.

The community garden is coming along nicely. Thanks to weekly garden work parties with all on the land participating, we have really got a nice garden going. Some things are a struggle, some things are a snap, and that's what this year is all about, experimenting and trying to grow lots of things. I have been harvesting lettuce, fennel, tsoi sim, arugula, radish seed pods (to stir fry), radishes, basil, tomatoes, bok choy and flowers (I like to eat them, so do the chicks), peas, two kinds of beans, cherry tomatoes, a little broccoli, and various herbs. Compare this picture with the one of the work party we had April 3rd.

Garden in June.


The blue corn is looking great, already has big ears, we'll be tasting it soon! Although it is more grown for cooking than fresh eating, still exciting. And we'll see if Sophie can eat this truly heirloom variety - brought to us from a friend who got it from Central American indigenous people - without her throat swelling up and getting asthma, which is what happens with the faintest bit of regular corn, even from buying deli food in those compostable containers made of corn.

The chickens - 31 down to 26 due to mongoose and possibly hawks - have been a major occupier of time.





Sophie and Ariel. Was so lovely to have Ariel visit!


Getting some taro.


We're coming to Olympia July 20th to see family, friends, do a million practical things, and then Ariel and I go to Woods Hole from July 30th-August 12th, and Dan and I return to Hawaii August 14th. Still working on whether Jason and Dan will join us to Woods Hole. Sophie is there now, so she and Nick will tend things for us here in Hawaii while we are gone.



Aloha for now, enjoy your days :)
Rachel

Spring - Hawaiian journal #5

Aloha friends!

First, before I forget, I added photos to the last entry, see here:
http://rachlwrites.blogspot.com/2011/03/feb-7th-from-olympia.html
You will see Sophie working our sugar cane press, and pictures of preparing coconut for milk, and Dan moving a small house with his excavator.

Returning to Hawaii from my unplanned visit to Olympia/Tacoma was very revealing. I had built up a strong curiosity about how I would feel given a chance to compare and reflect, so the timing was excellent to circuit back and forth. It also turned out to be a much-needed visit with Ariel, whom I hadn't seen for over four months. The visit had its share of drama, even a day or two when events were suggesting that the responsible thing to do might be to stay in the northwest. Which had a tone of reality... and sent me into a spin of panic. What was this crazy thing that I'd been doing, anyway? Real people have to work, and drive on I-5, and be cold in the winter, and defer having fun until vacations, and wait to live out their dreams until retirement. Of course this was a lark that had to end!

But, we sorted out options, and this was the best one, and I came back. Man, was I happy to come back! The splendor of this lifestyle hit me with new appreciation. Back to growing food as my daily drive, and helping craft an abundant and resilient community farm.

So here is an update.

Dan continues to focus majorly on infrastructure. Big news is that we now have a wonderful echo-chamber-like ferrocement catchment tank! Catchment means less town trips to buy water that we lug home in heavy glass carboys. Which is good for many reasons, including that gas is now approaching $4.50 in downtown Hilo. Ferrocement so it won't get destroyed in an earthquake - we had a little 4.0 shake-up call the night of the big one in Japan... also our own tsunami sirens for a long time... Right now the water is collecting from Bear's roof gutters, and a pipe strings across the valley from their house to the catchment. We are within spitting distance of actually getting water from the rain.



The large pipe on the side is the home-made first-flush mechanism, for dumping off the first wash of rain with its dust etc. You can also see the pipe strung across the valley from Bear and Joy's house to the catchment. (Hesitate to mention the little accident that happened just after this picture with the excavator... Joy thought it was another earthquake...)

'Course, this is ready just in time to not want to drink catchment because of radioactive particles in the rainwater, which are too small to be removed by the 5 micron carbon filter we will use. Although we seek out news and weather reports, it's hard to tell what our exposure really is or has been. Same boat we all are in - actually because of the way the jet stream moves, we're less at risk than many parts of the mainland. Not that we should really be a focus of attention compared to Japan. Still, while the Hawaiian islands don't get the jet stream as soon as the northwest, apparently we have received enough radioactivity to have detectable Cesium 134 and 137 and Iodine 131 in the local milk (see http://www.epa.gov/japan2011/rert/radnet-sampling-data.html, scroll down to milk, Hilo). So, we eat seaweed salad to make sure we have at least a healthy amount of iodine.

As always, our best health insurance policy is to do what we love. Which, in Dan's case, is building things. He and several excellent helpers have put together a few temporary utility buildings - here's one that we turned into a house for Sophie's - the same one being transported in photo on last blog:

It really is adorable inside, we'll have to get some photos of how colorful and cozy it is.

And here's another small building, used as a job shack:

These were built by David, Dan, Bear and Jason... with painting by Michael, Rebecca, Sophie, me and David.

Oh and Dan has also been hammering out cesspools, literally, using the hammer attachment on the excavator. Several holes almost got down to the required 10 foot depth but then started to fill with water. This has been hard and expensive work. He was digging in a very dense and thick streak of blue rock - valuable as crushed rock* for a soil amendment, but really hard to hammer through. Kind of goes, hammer for 15 minutes, 1 day to fix broken hose. Ten minutes of hammering, 2 days to find replacement for broken clamp and fittings ($80 each for 4). Benefits and drawbacks of living in an old rock quarry, in case you are considering same. * We also just learned that this type of basalt rock holds radioactive particles so it doesn't get into plants that are grown on it. This comes from a study done around Chernobyl of the greens grown in basalt. Pretty amazing thing. So in case of further fallout... get a goat, feed it greens grown on basalt, drink her milk instead of water. Our emergency prep plan!

While Dan continues to focus on infrastructure, my big drive is gardening. I have done less cooking lately, with Sophie here she's quite wonderfully taken on a lot of the major cooking. I did try to make lau lau. We have the ti and Chinese taro, the kind with the purple stem and piko (the dot where the stem joins the leaf), which has the tastier leaf with less oxalic acid, and local pig in the freezer, so all we needed to purchase was butterfish and sweet potatoes and Hawaiian salt. Filling and wrapping lau lau is the kind of thing you need an auntie or two to guide you with the first few times, not to mention more fun to do with a group of women. I did okay but hadn't realized the butterfish, which is also called black cod or sablefish, was already salted, so we got our share of saltiness with that dinner.

Other discoveries: the little patterned moth-like insects hovering around my vegetables? Those are types of fruit flies, and are responsible for the rotten ends of cucumbers filled with little green crawlies. I'm going to have to put paper bags on soft veggies like that if I want to grow them - or pick them underripe.

And I discovered that this bird poop, which at first I took as a sign that birds are visiting our citrus trees to keep off the caterpillars...


Is the larvae of the very hungry caterpillar of the Common Lime or Lemon Butterfly, Papilio demoleus, eating the citrus!


Here's a partial view of the pretty butterfly that is the parent of the bird poop larva, selecting a lemon tree to torture.


I will end with a few pictures of our community garden and chicken-coop building. At one of our regular meetings to talk about farm projects, several people wanted to work together in the big upper garden that has been an on-again off-again effort. Since I have been working in that garden and planning for new beds, and was eager to get help, I became community garden organizer. Here's a picture of our first work party preparing new beds:


Here it is after 2 weeks:


At one end of the garden we are building a chicken coop -
Up on legs to be mongoose-proof. We will add metal around the legs before we pick up the baby chicks.


Must be pretty!


Aloha until next time,
looking forward to your email updates,
Rachel

The neighborhood beach.

Feb 7th from Olympia

Hello friends and family,

So much going on, and so much time has passed, I won't possibly try to make this comprehensive, just put down a few notes! I am actually writing this from Olympia, where due to the cold freezingness of the world, there's not much to do outside to distract me from writing. Since I'm not on my computer, I don't have my pictures to add, so I guess I will add those later when I post this as a blog. (April 7th I am finally adding them! Computer with my photos died.)

Couple major categories of progress - in eating from the land, building, people, and energy.

Food
I am realizing it is much easier to grow or find starches and fruits to eat than proteins and vegetables. My goal is to eat foods we have either grown ourselves or our close neighbors or friends. Along those lines, our most successful home-style meals were of breadfruit (ulu), coconut, pig (caught by David who lives here, with a bow and arrow after the trap didn't kill the wild pig), avocado, bananas, liliquoi, berries, and some perennial greens. It's also easy to eat lots of local taro, casava (tapioca), air potato, sweet potato and pumpkin. We also now have a sugar cane press, and have been making juice from the purple cane growing here, and have honey that came from friends who took a beehive that once was here (there).


Sophie making cane juice - we have purple sugar cane, tastes like maple syrup


Making coconut milk


First we drink the coconut water, then cut up the meat and blend it for milk


Kitties (Vido and Princess) like coconut, too

For protein, we will soon get chickens and eventually would like to raise fish in an aquaculture system, aiming not to feed them store-bought food. There are huge crayfish in the stream but we haven't tried to catch any yet. As for vegetables, I spend a lot of time growing them and have not reaped too many benefits (yet). I planted around 22 cucumber starts and we ate maybe 2 cucumbers before they succumbed to various beetles and worms! Bear says it was the wrong time of year, so I guess I will try again in a few months. Even the vegetables that have been successful, like broccoli, bok choy, lettuce, and hot peppers, take way more time-per-calorie-gained than the starches and fruits. Part of the transformation of living here is changing my ideas about a healthy diet, and getting over the idea of centering my diet on huge salads and stir fries.

Shelter
We finally got our building permit, actually three, for our house and nearby buildings. We re-built U and Vi Camps, which have been tent camps for work-traders and family, into more solid (although still temporary and movable... see photo!) wood structures. They are 8x16 and 16x16, and have little kitchens. "U" is for the eucalyptus trees; "V" is for Wai'ele, the Hawaiian word for waterfall; "V" is pronounced "W" in Hawaiian. (You can't imagine how many hours of conversation precede these decisions!) The saga of our subdivision and permitting process actually made it into the paper the other day... they printed the inquiry letter from a neighbor and response from the county... I think the idea is to show the county is responding to neighborhood issues. That it has taken 4 years (Dan may correct me) to process the subdivision, they didn't dwell on!


It's movable as long as you've got one of these

Community
Several additions to our community - a friend named Dave who specializes in permaculture and medicinal plants has enthusiastically joined the group. Jason and Lauren have moved back into U camp, painting and making improvements as they go, both grateful to get out of the "city." I guess even sweet little Hilo has it's tense city vibe. Both are doing school projects related to the farm. Jason is putting into practice the theories he studied last term on sustainable energy and food - for example, installing a small solar system for U camp, and experimenting with how to compost the fish remains we are picking up from the local fish market (if you ever want to grow maggots, we have a sure method for you! - 4-7 update - hey wait, that's a great idea for chicken food...). Lauren is working on design and planning, asking what is most appropriate to locate in what place on the property, which is very timely as we are in a period of rapid growth and need to make important decisions. Latest news - Sophie will move out too! - coming back to Hawaii with me this weekend. Also we are trying to figure out where to house several friends who are carpenters who are coming out to help us build our house.

Energy
We got tired of having to turn on the generator to do anything involving a small motor, and then it got to where we even had to run the generator to charge the batteries to run basic electricity, so Dan went ahead and put up 3 solar panels. No more generator!!! No more fuel and fumes!!! The old low-sun panels go on Vi Camp, Bear and Joy put up a few, and as I mentioned Jason bought one for U camp, so now each camp has its own energy.

So, things are bustling and I am bursting to get back out there. I hear the plant starts are missing me (someone thought someone else was watering them...) and that taro has been planted, 60 olive trees were delivered that need transplanting, and Dan got a bunch of other trees that need to find homes as well. The next few months will be major house-building. I imagine in addition to helping build and garden I will also organize meals - with gluten-free and vegetarian fare - for the carpenters, keeping me and Sophie plenty busy. Visitors are still and always welcome, however!

aloha til next time,
Rachel

Beautiful Days

More days full of working hard, getting lots done, appreciating we are still getting hot and sunny days with rain now and then but not steady. Certainly was weird to prep Thanksgiving on a hot sunny day, hearing about the snow and freezing temperatures back in Oly. I missed cooking with and for the girls, especially, and wish I could send them virtual pie, but did have a fun dinner with Jason and Lauren and oh 18 or so other folks (and puppies), over at the neighbors!

Here's my typical daily pattern: wake up when the sun's been over the horizon just for maybe a half hour. I do around 20 minutes of yoga, and maybe write in my journal, as Dan needs more sleep and we have basically a one-room house, so this is a perfect time to be forced to do things that are very quiet. I'll walk around the garden to see if any fruits have dropped and check on anything recently transplanted. Then once Dan has stirred I start making the morning fruit smoothie - first soaking the chia seeds, then getting out frozen apple-bananas, a couple liliquoi, apple, ginger, maybe a papaya, lemon or lime, a partial avocado pit and some avocado (very high source of insoluble as well as soluble fiber, very good for the arteries), and whatever we have that's green (mint, chard, basil, kale). Also a little water or ice cubes. Blur it all up in the vitamix (have to turn the generator on), then add the soaked chia seeds and voila, delicious morning drink that's kind of like bubble tea, I imagine, with the pleasing tapioca-like texture of the chia seeds.

We figure out what our priorities are for the day, and then either work together or go off to do what's top of our list. Usually gardening for me and something with a large machine for Dan. Always nice when we are working together, always very interesting... like last week, Dan needed to move some steel he has been welding at neighbor's, a 74' beam that will be a bridge for the hydro pipe to pass over a small stream called Mahe Make. To move it he needs to use the big excavator he shipped here last year. He asks if I can help, so I trot along, thinking I will help him adjust it on the machine and then head back here.


Dan and excavator

But it turned out the beam needed to be steadied as he drove it back over here, a hilly half mile with many interesting obstacles to avoid. I walked at one end, keeping the beam from swinging around and hitting things, like the neighbor's shop, truck, fence, gate, and trees. This took a lot of strength as well as a certain amount of finesse to control the momentum, felt like steering a ship with a huge bow sprit through a cramped marina.

We slowly progressed, at a walking pace, back to our side of the bridge - this part was a little tricky, bridge is a one-lane, partly rotting wooden structure over a steep rocky ravine, and Dan had to drive the excavator not down the middle as he prefers, balancing the 20 tons of machine over the beams of the bridge, but off to the side so I could control the beam dangling from the excavator claws. Don't know if you can imagine this, it would have made a great picture... There actually were a couple guys in a pickup that stopped to watch us for awhile.

This was a typical daily adventure in that although I say "sure" I get to a point of thinking "not so sure!," but then eventually am proud and well yah a little boastful. Growing up with older brothers prepared me well.


Here's an early morning (moon was still out) picture of a bean and cucumber trellis we made out of the super handy bamboo stakes from the upper part of the property. This little garden patch also represents two mornings of prying out hono hono grass and perennial peanut, which is a cover crop nitrogen-fixer. After getting good and hot digging with pitchfork in the 80+ degree late morning, it's time to go down to the upper waterfall area (the one with the basking rock) to take a dip. And be amazed always at the dazzling beauty of that area, and think how I would love to share it with anyone who can venture out here!


Here I'm planting a miracle berry up on our house site. Miracle berry is a fruit that makes whatever you eat next taste as sweet as candy; lemon tastes like lemonade.


Sophie says to take more pictures of me, so here's another one, at the City of Refuge by the Great Wall, which was built around 1550. We spent a day over at the Kona side and visited this beautiful site in the evening, ancient royal grounds that provided a sanctuary for anyone in danger, during battle or if they had broken a kapu (law) that was punishable by death - such as women eating with men.

I wanted to write about what it's like being on "the other side" of the county and it's regulations... and how it looks like we finally have the go-ahead to build our house - we got an architect's stamp and submitted the plans to the county and it seems to be a go - but I have run on long enough so I will stop now.

And go prep some more garden beds.

Hoping everyone is super well in your life, and that you had a great Thanksgiving!

love and aloha,
Rachel

Rainy season starts

Hi friends and family,

It's quite fun for me to think of things to share with you all week, until I have so many things to say I can't wait for a day when we're running the generator anyway; like today, doing some laundry, too wet to work outside just yet, so I can get on my computer.

It's been storming and pouring here for a few days, 10 inches from Friday noon to Saturday noon! I was just driving back from a big plant sale at a fruit tree wholesaler, the station wagon loaded down with 24 avocados, citrus, sapote, rollinia, figs, soursop, a curry and a miracle fruit, when it started to pour, and barely has stopped since, now these babies (well some are 5 feet) have been sitting out in the yard getting knocked about by the wind... fine welcome to their new home.

When it rains like this the stream jumps up and churns reddish brown, and the waterfalls pound like thunder. Sometimes I'll think it's a jet plane going overhead low, but it's just the roar of Umaumau Falls, which is the next stream over the hill, or Kamaee Stream, which is right here. Just a few days ago I was lying out on a wonderfully smooth basking rock in the middle of Kamaee, absolutely in a state of divine sunshine bliss, as was Cinnamon the little Chihuahua neighbor dog hanging out with me. Now that rock is getting even smoother, blasted by bits of lava and clay.


Basking rock on Kamaee above small waterfall we climb through to swim below

Earlier this week was spent planting and mowing. I greatly appreciate that there are no: ticks, snakes, poison ivy, or poisonous spiders here. It amazes me that I can thrash through the tall grasses in pursuit of a lemon or some other fruit usually, without really worrying about much other than some pricker slashes from the few invasives that don't realize they are on an island and aren't supposed to need pricker protection (no indigenous mammals).

I don't like that there is: rat lung disease, which makes it so you can't eat anything fresh from the garden without careful examination, triple washing, and possibly cooking - it's a nematode carried by slugs and snails via rat host. Every other week you hear someone attest to a different version of this disease - big big deal, or no big deal, in the slug slime or not, rinse in vinegar or no difference from washing in water... It is truly amazing that this potentially life-threatening disease has received so little research that after years and years of it being in southeast Asia, now here, and moving into the south U.S., so little is understood about it. I also am not crazy about the rats that carry some other disease in their pee so you also have to be careful about the outside of things like bananas, avocados, and the luscious liliquoi that rats may have crawled over. I am always telling Jason not to just bite into those...


Giant African Snail, lured by rotting liliquoi; Dan had never seen one of these here before


Other than that, it's pretty much just mosquitoes and centipedes for biting pests, not bad at all. And the centipedes are really shy, preferring dark undersides of rotting debris, and they do eat tons of other garden bugaboos. Oh and bees, anticipating I will get stung this season, and ready to try two antidotes I've heard of - smash up/chew and apply either plantain or hono hono grass. Geckos and skinks are plentiful and companionable and also are great bug catchers, as are the beautiful and large spiders.


Maybe this tiny skink (that was in our house) eats fleas?

Also here's a picture of house so you can see where we live, temporarily, while getting everything in place to build a regular house. The everything includes - a subdivision approval to get a building permit, architect's okay on house design, plumber design for catchment and cesspool. We are actively working on all these things and hoping to get started with house this winter.


Temporary house that gets bigger and bigger as we wait for building permit... from left to right, first the living area was built, then kitchen, shower, laundry, potting shed.

There is always the irony that in our effort to live "sustainably off-grid," we are using more fossil fuels than the average town dweller, and probably more than a suburban home too. I have mowed the whole place twice and must say that one thing I didn't anticipate would be actually breathing in more gasoline fumes than usual, as I chug along behind the mower. Eventually the hydro will provide electricity and we can switch to battery-powered tools and car, but in the meantime just putting in the hydro uses a lot of fuel.

So clearly we are not reducing our carbon footprints, especially of course with the air travel added in. BUT IT IS SO COOL! And fun! And I am so pleased with being able to be here and being able to make this change in my life. I am just loving my days of working in the garden, gleaning foods, cooking, some town and neighbor visits for a bit of social life, and generally working with Dan to make all our plans take shape.

One more picture - the seedlings in the seed-start area attached to the laundry (to the far right in the house picture). Planted everything within 2 weeks of getting here and already have had to transplant half to larger pots. I am very proud of these babies, and trying to toughen both them and myself up before planting them in the harsh world of the outside garden!

October 26 - 3 weeks here

(I sent this out as an email...)

Hi friends and family,

I've been thinking of how to share Hawaiian life with everyone, and wrote a few entries in a blog but that doesn't seem to be working, so I thought I'd just send out emails now and then, and attach a few photos.

So just to start off: having been here not quite 3 weeks, after feeling very surreal for a very long time, I am finally feeling more acclimatized. Slowly and carefully I am building my routine, and my sense of what to do to make this farm work, what is my contribution and what is fun!

Every day I accumulate new bumps and bruises because everything is so new. Actually yesterday was a milestone, no new cuts! Cuts are memorable because they get infected immediately unless you keep them very clean. For example - lemon tree unkindly speared me with it's huge needles as I was kindly giving it compost. Wheelbarrow leg jammed into my leg as I yanked it over a bump. Foot got scraped as it slipped through a pallette - of course I'm wearing flip-flops as I do all these garden chores, because the box with all my work shoes is still en route (parcel post is veeerrrry slow).

Exciting new home improvement yesterday: Dan and I recrafted the laundry area/potting shed which is under a tarp attached to the side of the semi-house we are in, and expanded the potting shed to allow for many more plant starts. Plus room to hang clothes. Hanging them outside runs the risk that a cloud will come zipping over and dump on them, which happens every now and then when you thought the day was cloudless.

Here's a photo of a few fruits I scrounged the other day from the lower garden, which is in the heart of our camp and mostly has shrubs and trees now: 5 Jamaican liliquoi - they are the torpedo-shaped ones (passion-fruit, oh so delish), 2 round yellow liliquoi, the brown lump is an air potato (grows on a vine, can get very high up in trees), a variegated lemon, and a cup full of blueberry guava. The leaf is from a Ti plant, which is a greeting tree planted by every home, also very tasty cooked in lau lau.

That's it for now - time to turn off the generator and make some potting soil.

love,

Rachel

Less Than First Week

Been here since Tuesday, on Oahu since Sunday. Took a few days to feel here, especially when I didn't see the ocean on the flight. I still don't really get the island-in-the-middle-of-huge-ocean feeling as I should, it should be an overwhelmingly isolated feeling. But I feel just normal, although, very happy normal.

After being sorta dazed those first few days, what really clicked me into happy was going to the outdoor toilet and smelling (I know that doesn't sound like a promising lead-in) the strong-tea scent of - something growing by the outhouse, it could be the Ti plants, it could be the Vivee, something with a pungent but light cedary smell. In a flash that smell encompasses why I like it here - the whole feeling of being up at the farm, the puttery days with always the greater projects and visions of the place in mind, interspersed with treats of wonderful smells, unusual and amazing fruits, something remarkable growing here that just came into season. Quick diversion to discuss the liloquoi -

At cousin Erica's on Oahu, we picked a purple liloquoi (passion flower) from her yard and I loved it. The grapefruity taste, but more lemony and sweeter with little seeds bursting with lemon explosions, as Dan says. Then here at the Farm, I saw round yellow fruits along the drive, and opened one up - it was a liloquoi, even better than the purple one. So now I mix several into the morning smoothie, along with the new young ginger from the market that is so spicy, turmeric we dug up to transplant, apple bananas from the property too, avocado, chia seeds, half a beet, some kale from the garden, some pomegranate juice. Also lemons are hanging off the trees here prolifically.

I know, i know, pictures would be better.

Back to, other big parts of being here: the closeness of the community - all needing and appreciating each other or at least knowing we need to work it out because it makes a huge difference. The bird calls, waterfall sound that I keep mistaking for wind or rain. Bright blue sky, huge dome of ocean, puffy clouds, skies full of stars, or darkened with rain drifting through. Holy cow, this is my home! This is my place now, partner to Dan in crafting all our ideas and creative desires.

So how does it feel to have left - mainly, left the girls? Not great. Jason being here helps a lot. His ironic greeting, as it poured in Hilo for the first time in months the day I arrived, "It's great to have you here mom. We really needed the rain!" I feel disbelief, really, that I could leave the girls, although after several days and lots of contact (phone works well! and computer chatting), I am confident they are doing well and are really helping each other out. Ariel went to Sophie's "parent day," attended classes, and told me how fun they were. Sophie drove down to hang out with Ariel on her first lonely weekend. Ariel says my departure has made her really look at her life and realize it's up to her to be who she wants, make it what she wants, I'm not there to notice what she does with her time - she is totally her own responsibility. So this has been good for her, actually, looking very good.

I think I'll take some pictures...